How Can You Help a Child Cope With Anxiety About School?

For many children, anxiety about school is centered around the unknown: “Who will I sit with at lunch?” “What if the teacher asks me a question that I don’t know the answer to?” “What if I miss the bus?”

Instead of responding, “Don’t worry about it!” work through these anxiety-causing scenarios. Say to your child, “Let’s talk through that scary thought and figure out what you can do if that happens.” Parents can role-play the scenario with their child, having their child actually act out what he or she would say or do in that situation.

Actually rehearsing the words and actions the child will respond with builds confidence in their ability to carry out this response should the anxiety-causing situation occur, and helps them feel more in control of the situation.

No matter what age a child is, I always start out with a person-centered approach. In working with school-age children, it is vital for the mental health counselor to be congruent, show unconditional positive regard, and demonstrate empathy. One positive outcome of using a person-centered approach is the opportunity for me to educate the child about emotional self-awareness and the importance of self-reflection on their internal thoughts. My goal with emotional self-awareness is to afford the child the ability to identify, label, and understand unpleasant feelings, and how to respond and regulate their emotions more effectively.

Hands-on skills can be really helpful here: Mindfulness skills to help children understand how they experience anxiety (including how it builds), as well as emotion-regulation and distress-tolerance skills to help them manage and de-escalate anxiety at varying levels.

Establishing a regular morning routine can provide a child with a sense of security and predictability, which can be calming for those who feel anxious about school. Children thrive on routine, as it creates an environment where they know what to expect, reducing the uncertainty that can often lead to anxiety. A comforting routine might include a soft wake-up, a favorite breakfast, and a little bit of playtime or positive conversation before heading out the door.

This grounding start to the day can act as a steady foundation, easing the child's transition to the school environment. To promote a calming start to each day, consider setting up a routine that your child can look forward to.

Engaging a child in after-school clubs or sports can work wonders in reducing their school-related anxiety. Participating in these activities allows a child to develop new skills and interests outside of the traditional academic environment. It also provides them with additional social opportunities to make friends and build confidence.

The sense of accomplishment and belonging gained from extracurricular involvement can counterbalance the stress they feel about schoolwork. Encourage your child to choose an activity they are passionate about and see how it enhances their school experience.

Introducing a child to deep breathing or other relaxation techniques can be a powerful tool in managing their school anxiety. Teaching these techniques equips the child with a practical method to calm their nervous system in times of stress. The beauty of these techniques is that they can be utilized anywhere, whether at home, on the school bus, or in the classroom.

Such methods can empower a child by giving them control over their anxious feelings. Take some time to guide your child through these techniques and enable them to face school with a calmer mind.

Nurturing a child's social connections can provide a strong buffer against school anxiety. When a child feels connected to their classmates, they are more likely to view school as a welcoming and friendly place. Encouraging a child to make friends and engage in social activities can help them establish a support network of peers going through similar experiences.

These friendships provide emotional support, and can significantly reduce anxiety and feelings of isolation. Help your child to identify opportunities to make friends and remind them of the joy that comes with meeting new people.

Seeking the expertise of a child psychologist or therapist can offer personalized strategies for managing school-related anxiety. These professionals are trained to work with children, and can provide a safe space for them to express their feelings and concerns. They can also offer guidance to parents on how to best support their child through anxious periods.

Therapy may provide new insights into what triggers a child's anxiety and how to mitigate it. If your child's anxiety about school persists, consider reaching out to a professional who can deliver tailored support.